Message From The Minors

I thought I would share some awesome messages I've received. Enjoy! Oh and by awesome, I mean terribly awkward.

This message is from "Jude". Background on Jude...38 year old Asian man who spoke about himself in the third person in his "get to know me" section.

How are you doing? You're seem like a pretty smart girl, who also happens to be quite cute.

How do you like this online thing? Is this site working out for you? Have any other favorite sites?

Anyways, if you want to chat about similar interests (like theater, guitar and dancing), tell me your favorite joke, or think I'm interesting too or just plain hot ~ don't be shy ;) ~ then message me sometime.

Favorite sport to play: like tennis, bowling, jogging, taekwondo, pool.
Favorite to watch: ice skating, gymnastics, boxing.

This message is from "Jaris". Jaris is a 24 year old, black "model"... can't you tell?

Hello.. I took a look at your profile a little earlier but anyway..how have things been going for you here on OkC anyway?

As for me, generally, I love to draw, write, take photos, design, watch anime, and surf the net. I'm the kind of person that you're more likely to see in a library or bookstore than a bar or a club any day of the week. I'm pretty content with myself but not entirely however, I willing to get to know someone simply for who they are. I'm kinda shy at first but after while when I get comfortable that quickly fades away. Right now, I'm not working, just going to Central U full time and I have 2yrs left to go before I become a teacher and I'm sooo looking forward to it. =) I'm a fairly calm and composed individual and I don't really get mad or lose control of myself due to outer emotions. That's basically all I'm about. =D

This message is from "Jose". Jose is 29 years old and a hairdresser, oh I mean hair designer.

Hey I was just reading your profile and thought you were cute. I notice we share very similar personalities. I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh even more. I am constantly making a fool of myself just to make a few people smile. So, you make a mean apple pie? Well I can eat a mean apple pie lol. Well I just wanted to stop by and say hey. Feel free to message me back if you want.

The Hook

Have you ever watched How I Met Your Mother? It's kind of amazing and you should watch it. An episode a few weeks ago sparked this post and an email to Putt-Putt. Here is a clip of the episode that explains what "the hook" means. http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/video/?pid=ep_ArsMkn_b9yLMcSby5bWm0NqFJ22qc&nrd=1

As I've meantioned in pervious emails, I've been trying to break things off with Putt-Putt but I just don't have the heart. Recently the emails have become more frequent and he's been texting me. I eventaully return the emails but I don't respond to his text messages...I don't want to open that floodgate...again. His latest email (I received yesterday after I sent wrote him back on Saturday) was typical, the same old topics: dog, parents, new thing he bought, and work. At the end of the email he asked me if I was doing anything over break then said "hypitheically speaking if I wanted to call you this week, what would be a good night;)". Sidebar: You all know how I feel about smilie faces...I mean hello I wrote a post about them last week! Under no sercomstances do I want to talk on the phone. When he calls I won't answer but then if I don't return his call he might so up and that is no good, no good at all.

So...I've deceided to let Putt Putt off "the hook". I just sent him the below email expressing my feelings about our friendship. You might think its harsh but I spent a lot of time thinking about what to say and how not to be mean. The last time we actually spoke to one another he told me he still loved me. I told him I didn't feel the same way and he cried. See why I don't want to talk to him on the phone...I can't deal with him crying and being all sad. I don't want to hurt him but I feel like if I don't say something now then I will just hurt him more later. I'll let you know what he says.

The email:

I'm doing well...work is kind of kicking my butt. My sinuses are doing better; I just hope my allergies don't start with the weather changes this weekend.

I'll have to watch the Dayton game. It looks to be a good one. I'm headed to Indy for Easter to spend time with the family and some friends. I've very excited for my three day week.

To be honest with you, I don't think calling me is a good idea. An occasional email is fine, but I not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. I say this because I don't want to give you the wrong idea about our friendship. I'm sorry but that is just how I feel.

I hope you have a good Easter and I'll catch up with you later.

Dating Karma

A few of my guy friends from the DYT have also been online dating. One guy (who used a paid website) is happily dating a girl from Cincinnati. The other two have been using the same free site I am and haven't really had any success.

Anyway...we all went to dinner the other night and the topic of dating etiquette came. All three guys were very adamant about not contacting the girl if things didn't work out. They didn't feel the need to send any type of communication to let the person know they no longer wished to communicate with them. I disagreed and explained my dating karma theory. If you screw someone over, you are the next to be screwed over. They all thought I was crazy but I very much live by that rule. If I no longer want to communicate with a guy, I tell him. It might be awkward and kind of suck, but it has to be done. I don't want to be on that end next time, where I'm stilling and waiting for a guy to call me when he isn't going to.

Again the guys thought I was crazy and they didn't believe in something like that. Regardless, I still believe in dating karma and you best believer I try my damnedest to keep mine right.

Creepy Vibe

It's been 5 days since I entered the minor leagues and things are going slow. There are a few that don't seem too bad but no one I'm head over heels for. There are for sure a LOT of creepers. Part of my wants to put a disclaimer on my profile... Please don't contact me if you would describe yourself as any one of the following things: a gamer, a weirdo, a romantic, a sci fi &/or fantasy geek, a creeper...you see where I'm going with this.

This guy (we will call him Gary) sent me the message below:

you, are, amazing. i mean, other than the fact that i like the OTHER football. ;-) I like romantic comedies and action movies and horror and sci fi and fantasy. I like plenty of cool music. I love to go out and have fun and stay in and hang out. I love road tripping and going on vacations... i love being in nature in all of it's glory... and I love being in the city too!
We are both a weird blend, and perhaps a blend of weird blends would make an AWESOME blend!

A weird blend? Seriously? Who says that? Part of me wants to email this guy back and be like, "dude, that is not the way to get a girl".

I bet I know what you're thinking, I'm too harsh and that maybe he just doesn't know how to pick up girls (clearly he doesn't, btw). But it was more than just the creepy message, it was just creepy all over. His profile gave me the creeps and all 10 (yes I said 10) photos gave me the creeps. It hard to explain but there is something that goes off inside of me that just screams creeper...do not pass go and do not even think about collecting $200.

Is He Extremely Boring or I'm a Bitch?

My friend Nichole, who I love and miss very much, sent me a blog to check out. http://lalawag.com/2010/03/23/the-two-week-rule-either-youre-boring-or-im-a-bitch/

I love this blog. Whoever this chick is, she's kinda awesome. I can SO relate to the title of this post because I am so feeling it right now. There's this guy Ken...34, average looking, police officer, seems polite/nice. I think I will call him... Mr. Officer. The tragic flaw with Mr. Officer, either he's extremely boring or I'm a bitch. We've messaged a few time back and forth, about once a day. He is very nice and has told me some (kinda boring) things about his life. In my return messages I comment on the things he's told me in his previous email and attempt to add information about myself. He doesn't really ask me questions so I'm kind of getting board. Side bar: I understand that just giving him the information might stop him from asking. Why ask for it, if I'm just giving it up? As a test, I've stopped giving information about myself. The response I got back today was asking me how I liked the weather. Seriously... the weather.

So... is he boring or am I a bitch? Only time will tell... not that I'm going to wait very long, let's be honest.

Are Smilie Faces A Deal Breaker?

Day Two in the minor leagues. Things are going ok, most of the men seem "nice" and I've been messaging with a few men. I've deleted the creepers and people who look too familiar (i.e. box boy is back and sent me a message. I didn't date you two years ago buddy, I'm not going to date you now. Bummer dude.)

There is one guy who seems promising. We have similar likes/dislikes, hobbies, he has a killer taste in music...anyway back to my point... he seems like an ok guy. This one flaw, smilie faces. He used two smilie faces, :p and :D, in his response email. Just thinking about it, I kind of cringe a little. Side bar: The last guy I dated that used smilie faces in his correspondences was Putt Putt and we all know how that turned out.

My question is... are the smilie faces a deal breaker? Am I overacting because my previous relationships with smilie face users went bad? A male friend said "real men don't use smilie faces to express their emotions". I'm not sure if I totally agree with that very sexist comment but I'm just not a fan. Thoughts?

Don’t Call It a Comeback, I’ve Been Here for Years.

After much thought (and a bottle of wine), I've decided to get back into the dating game. I had a good off season... I spent some time reflecting on my dating history and really trying to figure out what I want in a relationship. I really needed the time to clear my head and be a little selfish.

Now don't get your hopes up yet, I'm still in the perpetration stages of "my great dating comeback". I've gotta do some practicing before I really get back into the game, you know work some of the kinks out. I need to improve my small talk skills, work on not being nervous, try not to be too excited (no one likes an eager beaver). It's like being in the minor league of baseball before you got to the majors. You can make rookie mistakes in the minor leagues that you really can't afford to make in the majors (I know you are excited for a whole season of baseball analogies).

So what is the minor leagues of dating, you ask? It's free online dating. It's not nearly as scary as it sounds if used probably. Free online dating should not be used when seriously searching for a partner.The people on this site (except for me of course) aren't really quality... most don't have jobs or are just looking for a sugar mama/daddy. Its a perfect place to practice your curve ball and left-handed swing... you don't run the risk of messing things up with a potential player from the majors.

I haven't decided how long I'm going to spend in the minors but be sure I will update you on my stats.