Ghost of Lovers Past

The last few weeks have been very interesting. A few different men have resurfaced in my life and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

The fist guy to creepy back into my life was Brandon … otherwise known as Brandon#1 or "The Artist" was perfect. He had red hair (I have a thing for redheads) and amazing eyes. He was getting his masters in art and he thought I was beautiful. We went out a few times then he disappeared... that crushed me and took me awhile to get over him. Fast forward almost 2 years to Brandon messaging me on the dating site. He now lives in Columbus as a glassblower. We’ve exchanged a few emails and he’s mentioned meeting up to hangout. He thinks it would be great. He also said I’m still beautiful. Yes…that was my heart melting. I’m not holing my breathe as Brandon has burnt me before.

The second guy to creep back into my life is Mike…otherwise known as Mike #1 or "Navy Guy". Mike was a few years younger than me. He was one of those guys who was "just looking for fun". It was fun while it lasted but he was a little too childish for me. He also liked to give hickeys and that was not a good look in the summer. Mike was the first guy I dated when I moved to Dayton… our first date was 2 years ago tomorrow. Mike sent me an email on Sunday saying that it had been a long time and was wondering if I ever want to catch up over dinner. I said I would be interested in dinner but that I wasn’t looking for a hook-up. He said he wasn’t either. Two years is a long time and this could be true. I’ve decided to go out with him just to see. Curiosity never killed the cat, right?

The third guy to creep back into my life is Date #2…otherwise known as Buzz. You should remember Buzz, he sent me the random email breaking up with me out of the blue. I posted about our break up last month saying “Buzz broke it off with me. He said he found someone he was more compatible with and that gave him the attention he wanted. This didn't sit well with me, at first, but I'm over it. I wish him the best with no harm feelings.” Well… he is back on the dating site and messaged me. He said he had been thinking about me, wanted to see how I was doing, and that I should give him a call. I’m sorry…what? I messaged him back asking what exactly he had been thinking about and that I didn’t have his number. He messaged me back with his number and alluded to going out in the email. I said I would be open to going out again but I wanted to know what his intentions were. I flat out asked if he was trying to date again. What? Are you really surprised that I asked him that? I want to know what I’m getting into this time. I don’t want another random email from him in three weeks breaking things off again. I’m waiting on his response to my bold question.

The biggest question on my mind is about whether or not I should give these guys another chance. I don’t want to look like a fool but I don’t want to close myself off to something that could be amazing. In church on Sunday I had a heart to heart with the big man. I thanked him for my wonderful life and told him that I truly felt I was ready to let love in my life. I can’t help but think that maybe these guys were meant to come back when I was ready. Is that crazy?