I hate...

...the fact that I don't actually hate him or any of them for that matter. There is a long list of men in my life who I should hate, in fact, I should despise them. They are assholes who jerk women around then bolt at the fist sign of "feelings". Why can't I just let these guys go? They are like those pants you have in the back of your closet that don't fit anymore. You keep them around, sometimes for years, in hopes that one day they will fit again. Am I keeping these guys around in hopes that they "fit again"? Whoa! I just had a mini-breakthrough. We will go back to this topic later.

The "him" that inspired this post is James. I'm so over his mixed messages. We have hour long texting conversations filled with witty banter and flirty quips. I do like talking to him. I just hate the way I feel about him. I wish we never would have hooked up. I really would just like to be friends with him...but all I do is think about how I so want to be more than just friends. I am always left at the end of our conversation confused and wondering if he wants more too. I should just get up the nerve to ask him. I mean the worst thing that would happen is that he has no idea what I'm talking about and thinks I'm crazy? I mean I could be crazy but that is besides the point. How do I go back to just wanting to be friends with James? Can I ever go back? I have before but that took years.

Sidebar: Let's be real honest for a second... if that guy called and told me want to be with me... I would jump at the chance. Oh yeah, he is definitely one of those pairs of pants in the back of my closet that I wish still fit.

So...what do I do about James?